Why I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near proper nice yarn

You know Sharon, right. She gave me a very nice book, along with some looooovely yarn, and knitting needles made out of pure gold for my birthday this year. So, off I went and made myself some pointless gloves, as I'd been meaning to do for a while. Now, their fingertip-warm-keeping performance was, admittedly, below average, but they were nice and fluffy and *SO* much more practical than other gloves or mittens when it came to folding prams one-handedly, or stopping that poisonous peed-on shard of glass from reaching a certain boy's mouth.

And then I washed them.